Life Lesson: One

...Never put your happiness in someone else's hands...

This is one of the most amazing life lessons that I have ever learned. As a young child & teenager, I never had much self confidence. I tried to cover my insecurities and fears of social situations with humor. After the nights were through, I would go home and worry endlessly about things I said or did that may have made others look down at me. I would blame my embarrassment on being overweight. I would blame my inability to get asked out on dates on being overweight. I would get my hopes up about a boy that might actually "like me back" and I would go through phases of "happiness." I would get my heart broken by false hopes when things didn't work out & I would be terribly unhappy. I didn't understand at that time in my life that what everyone thinks or what that one boy thinks, does not matter. I based so much of my teenage life "waiting for someone else to make [me] happy." I not once thought of it being a decision. My own decision.

I now know how important it is to be self-reliant & self-confident. Though someone else can enhance your happiness, you yourself have to make the initial decision to be happy. After I graduated high school, I was lost. All of my friends had gone away to school or had left on LDS missions & I was working & living at home. I got stuck in a routine. I would come straight home from work, watch an episode or 2 of my favorite show & then go to bed. I would wake up & the cycle would begin again. I felt stagnant, discontent & unhappy. I woke up one day & had a desire to make my life different. I woke up with hope that things could get better if I put in the effort. I jumped onto the "healthy-eating & 2 hours at the gym" train. I wasn't basing my decision off of anyone else. I wasn't losing weight for anyone else but me. I am beyond grateful for that desire. It has brought me so much joy & happiness, & so much more desire for other things.

Find that desire in yourself to become what you want to be. Find what goal or accomplishment you would like to fulfill & make it one of your top priorities. Make time for yourself to fulfill that desire & go for it. Full force. Don't wait for someone else to make you happy, because you can wait & wait & wait, & then you realize that it is you who has to decide.