Life Lesson: One

...Never put your happiness in someone else's hands...

This is one of the most amazing life lessons that I have ever learned. As a young child & teenager, I never had much self confidence. I tried to cover my insecurities and fears of social situations with humor. After the nights were through, I would go home and worry endlessly about things I said or did that may have made others look down at me. I would blame my embarrassment on being overweight. I would blame my inability to get asked out on dates on being overweight. I would get my hopes up about a boy that might actually "like me back" and I would go through phases of "happiness." I would get my heart broken by false hopes when things didn't work out & I would be terribly unhappy. I didn't understand at that time in my life that what everyone thinks or what that one boy thinks, does not matter. I based so much of my teenage life "waiting for someone else to make [me] happy." I not once thought of it being a decision. My own decision.

I now know how important it is to be self-reliant & self-confident. Though someone else can enhance your happiness, you yourself have to make the initial decision to be happy. After I graduated high school, I was lost. All of my friends had gone away to school or had left on LDS missions & I was working & living at home. I got stuck in a routine. I would come straight home from work, watch an episode or 2 of my favorite show & then go to bed. I would wake up & the cycle would begin again. I felt stagnant, discontent & unhappy. I woke up one day & had a desire to make my life different. I woke up with hope that things could get better if I put in the effort. I jumped onto the "healthy-eating & 2 hours at the gym" train. I wasn't basing my decision off of anyone else. I wasn't losing weight for anyone else but me. I am beyond grateful for that desire. It has brought me so much joy & happiness, & so much more desire for other things.

Find that desire in yourself to become what you want to be. Find what goal or accomplishment you would like to fulfill & make it one of your top priorities. Make time for yourself to fulfill that desire & go for it. Full force. Don't wait for someone else to make you happy, because you can wait & wait & wait, & then you realize that it is you who has to decide.

One Pound at a Time.

Work, photography, dieting, school, church, & personal time. These are just a few contributors to my ridiculously busy schedule. Life sometimes gets so busy I feel like I haven't stopped for days, even for one minute. What I consider downtime is sitting at my desk editing or doing homework. Being busy is a blessing; I haven't had time to be content or bored. But it also doesn't allow me to take a breath & realize how blessed I am. It is so easy to get caught up in day to day events when you're running on a schedule with an endless cycle.

I've never felt more busy in my life than I do now. My growing photography business, 40 hour work week day, & 9 credit hours...By the end of the day, I'm lucky if I get to cross 2 things off of my "To Do" list, & then I end up adding 1 or 2 others. Some of the busy-ness I've brought upon myself by choice, & I've heard from several people, "You know, saying No is okay." To me, it isn't. How could I turn down an opportunity to do what I love & build my photography business? I would love love LOVE to get to the point where I could cut down on my day time hours & kick up my photo hours. & some day, I know I will be able to get to that point if I sacrifice some personal time now. In the meantime, I will juggle as many things as I have to to get to that point!

To add to the stress of life, I've gained weight. (No surprise there!) Clint & I have jumped onto the calorie counting bandwagon full force! Since September 10th, I've been on a 1,300 calorie diet & I've already lost 7 lbs! Clint pinky swore that I would be down 20 lbs by Christmas, which right now, looks pretty do able!

I've been thinking a lot about support lately. Not in just a weight loss/motivation standpoint, but in every aspect of life. Trials & obstacles are extremely difficult to overcome without someone to lean on or talk to. In regards to weight loss, studies have shown that people lose more weight when they have a weight loss buddy! this is so true! I just think back on all of the goals that I've made, kept to myself, & never reached. Everyone needs someone to cheer them on in school, in parenthood, at work, with hobbies, everything. I never would have gotten to where I am today with my photography business without my amazing supporters. Same with my weight loss. 2 & a half years ago, I never would have said I could do it. My parents, siblings, & friends were amazing motivators (& shortly after I began, I met my husband to be)! Because they were cheering me on, helping & motivating me to eat right & listened to my frustrations, I lost 40 lbs! I never could have never could have done this on my own. From the moment I voiced my goal, I felt that it was my responsibility to absolutely keep that promise! The people around you who truly love you & want you to succeed; they are here to remind you of your potential & greatness! So trust in them & let them help you! & who knows, maybe you'll be the inspiration for them in return.

I am extremely grateful for my amazing husband, parents, siblings, family, friends, & anyone else who has helped me on my journey. I feel so blessed to have such amazing people in my life!